Beer (& More) In Food

Beer: The Condiment With An Attitude!

Archive for September 14th, 2007

Milk a Cow From the Convenience of Your Own Home

Posted by Bob Skilnik on September 14, 2007


 “Spielst du?”

Just watch out. These large-breasted German beauties are hiding baseball bats behind them! Click on “Spiel Starten” when you are ready to play.


Posted in Pure Silliness | Leave a Comment »

Oktoberfest Glazed Onion, Kraut & Apple Bratwurst Pizza (& Milk An Alpine Cow!)

Posted by Bob Skilnik on September 14, 2007


I wanted so badly to video this recipe preparation but my camera is down and probably out for the count. Nonetheless, I swear to you that as silly as this recipes reads, IT’S DELICIOUS! The underlying sweetness that runs right over the lactic character of the Swiss cheese, the red pepper flakes and the somewhat medicinal tang of caraway seeds demands an Oktoberfest-styled beer.

Since my video camera is down, I’m asking one more time (for about the 100th time) that someone PLEASE send my a 10-minute or less video of this Oktoberfest Pizza’s preparation, or for that matter, any beer/food dish preparation. The first person to contact me ASAP with an assurance that their video rendition of this recipe is on the way will receive a signed copy of “Beer & Food: An American History” and my everlasting gratitude.

Don’t forget. Oktoberfest actually begins in September, the 22nd this year if I remember correctly. Click on the official link to this yearly German spectacle and learn all about its history, the famous beer tents, and how to curse in German (better yet forget that. Just be familiar with the terms if someone happens to call you a Rauschada).

So here we go;

1 twelve to fourteen inch prepared pizza crust
2 tablespoons of a Bavarian Style sweet mustard. Please don’t use a Dijohn.

For the Topping:

8 quarter-inch slices of cored and peeled tart apple. Granny Smith, for instance.
3 tablespoons (or more) of a light bodied olive oil, divided
2 cups of thin-sliced yellow onions, about a pound or so
1 1/2 tablespoons of brown sugar, or better yet, a light-colored dry malt extract
1 cup of well rinsed and dried sauerkraut
1/4 cup of an Oktoberfest beer, with its typical somewhat sweet character
2 tablespoons of a Bavarian Style mustard
1/2 pound of Swiss cheese, shredded and divided
1/2 pound of pre-cooked veal bratwurst, thinly-sliced (the white, finely-ground kind)                           precooked-veal-bratwurst.jpg
red pepper flakes to taste (don’t go wild with them or you’ll ruin the sweet balance of the toppings)
1/4 teaspoon of caraway seeds, roughly crushed
1/2 cup of grated Parmesan cheese


Pre-heat your oven to 450F. Brush the pizza crust with the 2 tablespoons of Bavarian sweet mustard

Heat a heavier frying pan (cast iron, stainless, etc) and coat with 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Saute the apple slices until their lightly browned, then remove from pan and set aside on a paper towel. Don’t crowd the pan or the apples might get mushy. After you remove the first batch, add some more oil if necessary and make sure it’s heated before you add more apple slices.

When you’re done with the apples, add at least 2 more tablespoons oil to the frying pan. Add the sliced onions and turn up the heat a bit for 2-3 minutes—just to get the carmelization of the onions going. Reduce the heat back to low, cover the pan and cook another 10 minutes, stirring occasionaly.

After 10 minutes, remove the cover and add the brown sugar (or dried malt extract) and the kraut and stir until its heated through.

Add the beer (and drink the rest) and cook at a high simmer until the mixture is somewhat glazed (and if you’ve been slamming a few too many Oktoberfest beers as you’re making this, you might be a bit glazed yourself. Slow down, we still have to bake this sucker!) Once the beer has evaporated, add the mustard, stir and remove the pan from the heat.

Grab the pizza crust and spread out half of the Swiss cheese on it. Now spread out the onion/kraut mixture on the crust. Top this with the sliced brats and cover with the rest of the Swiss.

Now layer it all with the apple rings and finish the pie off with the red pepper flakes, the caraway seeds and the Parmesan cheese.

Bake in the pre-heated oven for 12 minutes or until the crust is golden and the cheese is melted an bubbly.

Pull from the oven a let it sit a minute or two. Sliced right, you’ll get 8-servings and just as many compliments.

While you’re enjoying you Oktoberfest pizza and too many beers, why not try your hand at milking some Alpine cows. Just watch out. These large-breasted German beauties are hiding baseball bats behind them! Click on “Spiel Starten” when you are ready to play.

Posted in Beer And Food Pairing, Beer In Food, Cooking With Beer, Cooking With Malt Extract | Leave a Comment »